The Tip Top Club
by Stratagem
Summary: Illya makes a rule about tree climbing, but his and Gaby's daughter Katie doesn't like it. So, in typical headstrong fashion, she breaks the rule and climbs the tree anyways while he's "distracted." Napoleon disagrees with Illya's child raising style.


Disclaimer: I don't own The Man from U.N.C.L.E. I think it's a fantastic movie, and I bet the TV show was really cool! But yeah, I don't own either. ^_~

The Tip Top Club

The ground looked really far away. Katie peeked over the edge of the branch and then pulled back, settling against the tree trunk, her arm looped around one of the branches. It had sounded like a perfect idea while she had been going over it in her head: wait 'til Papa was occupied, climb the tree, climb back down, don't get in trouble but satisfy all that pent-up curiosity.

When they had moved into this house yesterday, her papa had told her that she wasn't allowed to climb the big tree in the backyard until someone had a chance to be there with her. Which, of course, made her want to climb it the first opportunity she got, regardless of whether someone was there or not.

The tree was enormous and all of those wonderful branches were impossibly fantastic, and really, it wasn't fair. She was eight, and while she was rather tiny, she was _nimble_. Really! Climbing that tree on her own wouldn't be any sort of trouble for her.

It was just because she had climbed on the roof of their last house and almost fell off that parents were being so silly about this tree. That wasn't her fault. One of the tiles had been loose, and besides, climbing a tree was entirely different than being on a roof.

Her parents had both been busy since they got to the house, and there just hadn't been a time for any backyard investigating. So, naturally, when she heard that her uncle was coming over to talk with her papa while her mother was out visiting someone, she had seized her chance. She had asked to go outside and made a grand show of racing through the orange and red leaves, kicking them about, knowing her father would be looking.

However, the moment Uncle Solo's car pulled up, she had raced to say hello to him before flying back to the backyard where she began plotting her tree-top excursion. She didn't know how long she would have, but she had learned long ago that grown-ups talking to each other were often distracted.

Getting up the tree had indeed been easy. Footholds and handholds were clear, and if she had to jump and pull herself up to the next branch, well, that's where the whole nimble thing came in. Soon enough, she was high up in the branches of the tree, able to see their entire neighborhood. She doubted they would live here long, they never stayed anywhere for more than a few months, but it seemed like a good place to live during autumn.

Going back down the tree had proved a lot harder, and she ended up stuck on one of the big middle branches, unsure of the way down. The leaves kept her hidden, so at least her papa couldn't see her. He would definitely think she was just playing somewhere else in the yard or that she had gone back to her room to read.

Which meant she had a lot of time to think about how she could explain to Papa that this was simply bending the rules instead of blatantly breaking them in case he did catch her.

* * *

"Peril, why is your daughter fifteen feet up a tree?"

"Because she believes I am not watching."

"Well, that's a mistake."

"Mmm."

"How long has she been there?"

"Seventeen minutes."

* * *

All right, if she thought about it logically, the ground wasn't _that_ far away. It just looked like it. And she wouldn't die falling from this height, or at least she didn't think she would. No, but she might break a bone, and if she broke something after already breaking a rule, she would be in such a heap of trouble she might not ever get out from under it.

Sighing, she kicked her legs back and forth and tried to ponder her way out of this predicament. Any moment now, her papa was going to burst out of the house and come and get her. It would be better if she was on the ground by then. At least that would prove she could climb the tree on her own and be completely fine.

Unfortunately, she still couldn't figure out the best way down. From this vantage, it seemed like any path she took was the wrong one.

At least it was interesting up in the tree. There was a forgotten bird's nest in the branch with her, and there were still a few small, spotted broken shards of eggs between the twigs and fluff. Reaching over, the plucked an old gum wrapper old of the nest and started twirling it around in her fingers.

There had to be another way down besides calling for Papa.

* * *

"It's been nearly an hour."

"Forty-nine minutes."

"Poor little hooligan. I bet she's hungry. And cold."

"It was her choice."

"Seems a tad cruel to leave her up there, though."

"She's resilient."

"Not indefinitely so. Come now, man, let me go get her. Or you can get her. You could go and get her down and give her a stern talking to. She won't do it again, she's a smart little thing."

"No. I know when she'll get tired, and I am making a point that I don't make idle rules. I knew she was not ready for that tree, and I told her that it was not for climbing alone. She is not a place that she will fall from. This is a lesson."

"She gets that stubborn streak honest."

"From her mother."

"From both of you. But, speaking of dear Gaby, I'm not sure if she'll approve of your Soviet brand child-rearing methods."

"She may. And if she does not, a little disagreement isn't unhealthy."

"It'll be a monstrously big disagreement if the Katastrophe out there falls."

"She won't."

"She might."

"She will _not_."

* * *

Katie couldn't stay up here any longer. It was getting cold, and she wanted to go inside. This definitely hadn't been her most brilliant plan, and maybe, a little bit of her was regretting it. Or at least regretting that she was likely going to get caught. She hated getting caught…

She had to make a move. Papa obviously wasn't coming, which meant that he and Uncle Solo were probably fighting. They did that often enough that it certainly wasn't a surprise to her.

Besides, she thought that she had found the way down. Turning around on the branch, she laid down on the branch and then slid over the side, her bare toes searching for the branch below her.

* * *

"Peril!"

"I see her, Cowboy."

* * *

She managed to reach the branch directly below her, but when she tried to scramble to the one below that, she found she had miscalculated the distance. It was too much to the left, too far away from her feet. Going up, she had jumped from that branch to the one she was holding, but she couldn't bring herself to swing over and drop onto it now.

Katie wrapped her arms around the branch and then pulled her legs up until she was holding onto the branch like a sloth, hands locked together and her feet following suit.

This was the worst. She let out a little frustrated shriek, mad at the tree and herself and the whole rule that had made her want to climb the tree in the first place.

"Would you like to come down now?"

Letting out a startled yelp, she looked down to find her papa there, his arms crossed over his chest. He looked calm, as if he had found her sitting on the ground instead of in the air, but she could see his cheek twitching. Yep, she was in trouble. When she looked past him, back toward the house, she could see Uncle Solo near the back door, leaning against the doorframe.

"I can get down…"

"Is that so? Then I will leave you to it."

He turned to go, and she gave a little whine, her hands tightening on the branch. He couldn't just leave her here! But she didn't want to ask for help, she wanted to do it herself. And she didn't want to get in trouble.

She made a face. "I'msorrypapa."

Papa stopped and looked up at her, eyebrows raised. "I did not hear you, what was that you said?"

"I'm sorryyyy," she said, drawing the syllable out, "Please help me, I can't reach."

"Mmm." He rubbed his chin and gestured upwards. "Pull back up onto the branch."

Katie nodded and yanked herself back onto the branch, laying across it and waiting for him to tell her what to do.

"Will you just bring her down already?" Uncle Solo said as he walked over, frowning, "I think she's spent enough time up there that she's turning into a squirrel."

"And yet a squirrel could climb this tree."

Katie pressed her cheek to the bark. "I'd like to come down now, please…"

"Step across to the next branch and then lower yourself down."

She bit her lower lip but she did exactly that. Her toes curled around the branch as she crouched down, grabbing it tightly. Carefully, she swung down and hung from the branch, her legs kicking free in the air.

"Now let go."

The ground came at her quick, but it didn't matter because she fell right into her papa's arms. She hugged him and pressed her face into his neck, and when she raised her head, she saw Uncle Solo behind them with the palm of his hand pressed to his face.

"Let's not do that again," he said, his rolling voice sounding strained.

She shook her head, making her wild curls dash around. "I won't, I won't, I promise."

"Mmm, I bet you do," Papa said, half-smiling, "I also bet that you will not get dessert for the rest of the week. I told you not to climb that tree alone."

For a moment, her face fell. Dessert was the best… After a few petulant moments, she looked from him to up at the tree. "Will you help me climb it next week?"

"If you mind your behavior, then we shall see."

Katie grinned. "Fair enough."

Uncle Solo sighed. "Yes, of course, do climb the ridiculously tall monster tree, Katie girl. Because I do so love getting more grey hairs."

"Silver hair is distinguished, Cowboy."

"Agree to disagree, Peril."


End file.
